Dreamer

You know the feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream?

Not the kind of dream where you are being chased by a large piece of pepperoni pizza shouting, “Let me nuzzle close to you; I want to lodge myself under your toenail.” Though thrilling, not the effect I’m thinking of.

I’m thinking more about the truly bad dreams. The dreams that are real. The ones that don’t feel like dreams at all.

The dreams that begin with you deep, deep under water, with light shimmering through the murky water from above. You hold you breath and swim up, slowly at first, enjoying the beauty of the ocean and the water, and the colors. Bubbles float gently as the tide coo’s in and out. Your hair floats majestically from you head. Fish swim in schools to and fro, darting from one place to another with no care in the world. You eyes shift to the light that hangs so far above your head. Its rays pierce through the water. It seems so distant, so far from reach. Soon your lungs begin to tense. It has been long since they’ve last tasted air. You begin swimming faster, nervously towards the rays of light. The surface of the ocean where you can bask freely again, living in the peace that is your home, where oxygen is life, and light is your comfort. Your lungs are panicking now. The light still seems so far away, you’ll never make it…

…and then you’ll wake up.

…breathing heavily, panting.

…in a dark bedroom,

…fearful of something

…something that wasn’t even real.

Sometimes, I feel like these dreams make up my life. I drift off into an alternate reality. Unconscious, floating seeing things and feeling things, but not really taking it all in.

Just there.

Then I realize that this place isn’t my home. That I can’t breathe here. I’ll start to panic. Swimming and thrashing trying to get out of this place that is so full of fear, with no air. Nothing to breathe, no life... when I hear the words:

“Wake up.”

I see the man, as he pulls me back into reality. Still panting and full of fear, I catch my breath, the cool, deep breath of life. I wonder how I found myself asleep again.

Ephesians 5:14

"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."